I’ve given up trying to figure out the universes plan for me.
I’ve also, if I’m 100% honest given up on what I now call the ‘myth of forever’.
The myth that something has to last a lifetime to be sacred, valuable or sublime.
For instance, my relationship with the father of my children (my childhood sweetheart & ex-husband)…. lasted 17 years (as a couple) & included an abundance of lessons, adventures & laughter…not to mention 2 divine angels.
Did our marriage last forever? Nope.
Did I think it would? Yes.
Should it have lasted forever? No. Not for his or my best interests & highest good.
In so many areas, but perhaps relationships especially, we mistake change, transition or growth for failure when it is simply, in reality, evolution.
When someone leaves/loses a job or changes a career or moves away
….it is often initially viewed as ‘loss’ or an ‘ending’…. when in truth (as revealed by time) it actually marks a new beginning & is an essential step further along their path.
Just think for yourself… of all the ‘failed’ relationships that ultimately taught you, trained you😉 & grew you into the person you now are &, if it’s relevant for you, into the relationship you now hold as sacred.
And yet…this one too…your current love….although it feels whole, rich & true…might not be forever.
It too might one day ‘end’ or evolve.
Does this trigger you? Do you resist this statement?
If it did trigger you or you do resist it, I’m not surprised, I feel you.
We are all wired to resist change & to cling to connection & belonging.
[Side note: Yet another reason why our relationship (connection & belonging) to self is so essential!]
Mmmm back to the point….it might pay for us to remember that each time a separation/endings has happened before (where once you likely thought, as you do now, that it never would) it did, with time, turn out for the better that it occurred.
Either through the ultimate elevation of the situation or the elevation of your inner knowing…a lesson learned & growth gained.
So I don’t say this to scare you about any imminent future losses or endings (aka transmutations ;-)) but rather to remind you that loss, goodbyes & change are a part of life.
And whilst we can hold visions, intentions & act in alignment…. sometimes the universe really does know what’s best for us. Sometimes we need to release something we value & love, to make space for what’s waiting to come to us…. something more amazing than we can currently conceive of.
It’s methods might feel mad at times but it’s magic never fails.
If right now you aren’t feeling the magic, just the madness…you might either be out of alignment, or in resistance to: what’s occurring or the truth of your souls whisper… I know, because I’ve been there!
An amazing mentor of mine used to say ‘pain/suffering is just resistance to change’….I feel this is true..in our bodies as well as our hearts, minds & souls.
If there are big forces at play in your life right now & despite your best efforts you seem unable to make any headway against them…maybe it’s time to turn & go with flow of them instead of resisting them.
Often they are simply guiding you through a new & raw transition…a magical metamorphosis…that will result in a rebirth & renewing of you.
Hang In There.
The ‘how’ might look different to what you desired, but the end result is usually the medicine you need & want.
As always guys…I write this post as much for me as you.
After 5 amazing years with the bravest, solidest, most soulful man I know. I have find myself having to turn & trust in the universe again….
…as my ego experiences loss & fear, I must surrender once again to the Grace that I know (but occasionally if I’m honest: still occasionally question) guides me.
Will we be a forever? I no longer claim to know any such thing.
Nor do I any longer feel that forever is a necessary sign of true deep love.
Sure, today the current forecast isn’t great…. circumstances & needs appear to have us beat…but the weather is always changing.
We never know what the new seasons will bring, we can only bet on that single constant of ‘change’…& instead of resisting her, learning to dance with her.
If the stars decide we are not a ‘forever together’, it does not mean our time together was a ‘failure’…oh gosh sooooo far from it…rather, my most divine union yet… & regardless of the labels, titles & circumstance…. the gifts, learnings, experiences & sublime blessings of our union will last a lifetime in my heart.
Thank you my SSDK, I love you. ❤️
Universe, I trust you implicitly & surrender to your guidance for my highest good. ✨
M ❤️✨xox
Gorgeous girl, coming from a woman who’s longest relationship lasted 3 years (most 6-12 months otherwise), who’s been single for 6.5 years now, at age 41, with no children; I can honestly understand (with knowing truth) that no matter how much love and commitment you put into another individual soul (other than yourself) the reciprocation of that is never guaranteed. You can only stay true to yourself, afterall, that is your forever person – yourself. You have you forever. Strong, yet soft, open and genourous women like us attract (well we attract them all, lets face it), rather we are attacted to a certain Alpha type male. The problem with that is he feels he has to compete with our strength and firm sense of direction. Our strong masculine side drives his maculinity so he then feels like he has to re-gain “the reins” of his life or this relationship, but little did he know, he always had them, but his Alpha (bullish) nature can’t help itself, he feels he has to rear it out. One thing a woman friend taught me when I was the young age of sixteen, was that they (the men) ALWAYS come back. You just have to continue to be the best you that you are and he will be back. We don’t know when he’ll be back, it could be 2 days or 2 weeks or it could be 2 months or worst case, 2 years…. but remember dear, they ALWAYS come back….as long as you do not contact him and you keep being awesome without him… then there will come a day, that your heart is totally fine and settled without him in it…but he’ll be back….mark my words Marina, they ALWAYS come back. And you will be in a better place to set it straight again, to re-train him on how you should be cherished and that if he leaves again, he should be aware, that it’s for good. You are too rare, too worthy and too precious to be played with again. He should always be chasing you, he should never feel like he has all of you; this is hard for us to do, because we love so openly and so whole-heartedly, so deeply. Then you realise you need to decide whether you want an Alpha male anymore, maybe what you really want is that male who sees himself as your equal, not your superior or you his. I know I’m making broad presumptions and I have NO IDEA what is going on with you or what SSDK is like; I suppose, I too am writing this for you as much for me. But honey, possibly, what we need to do is to choose a different type of guy to be attracted to. The one who is our equal, maybe not the “oh so wonderful in our eyes”, but completely equal. The one that may seem “ho hum” when we first meet him. Possibly that one that holds and cherishes our soul as gently and sweetly as we do his. Maybe this is the man we could learn to know, learn to see the world and things through his eyes, the soft and gently guy, that initally we may have the buzz attraction to. Possibly this is the guy we should let (their) love in, to experience and feel the difference from. Who knows what we can learn from it, possibly what it’s like to be loved by someone as whole-hearted/deep as we are when it comes to love and relationship. So my dear Marina, as the new day dawns (and HE WILL BE BACK) and we embark on life’s new journeys, I say here’s to new possibilities, here’s to new learnings (on what really could be right for us), here’s to new ways of seeing things and new forms of love and letting those in. Yours, precious and divine Marina, in cofidence and in grace, Bernie. xo